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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22502431">I'll Spend My Life With You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alias_Slashley/pseuds/Alias_Slashley'>Alias_Slashley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jonesmith [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Monkees (Band), The Monkees (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, jonesmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:07:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,349</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22502431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alias_Slashley/pseuds/Alias_Slashley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Davy and Mike navigate life after Mike's failed attempt in New York.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Davy Jones/Mike Nesmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jonesmith [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Honeys, I’m home!” Mike called as he set his luggage down.</p><p>Mike winced at the crashing and breaking noises that were coming from the downstairs bedroom. The door flung open and Micky ran right past Mike in a frenzy followed by Peter who was much calmer.</p><p>“Peter! Am I hearing things? I thought I heard Mike come home but I don’t see him!” Micky was searching under his drum kit for Mike’s whereabouts.</p><p>“That’s because you’re an idiot,” Mike deadpanned.</p><p>“Mike, is that you?” Micky yelled vigorously shaking a maraca and trying to peek inside the crack of it.</p><p>Peter and Mike shrugged at Micky’s antics.</p><p>“How in the hell did we make it home before you?” Peter asked. “We left after you and took the bus. You should have been here light years before us.”</p><p>“Right…I may have made some pit stops.”</p><p>“There you are!” Micky announced spreading his arms out wide and engulfing Mike in an overzealous hug.</p><p>Mike pried himself away from Micky and walked over to sit at the kitchen table. Peter and Micky followed suit.</p><p>“What kind of pit stops?” Peter asked.</p><p>“Please don’t tell me it was another erotic endeavor,” Micky shuddered.</p><p>Mike gave Micky a playful shove. “No, nothing like that. I just needed to think.”</p><p>“About what?” Micky asked.</p><p>“The existence of man…what do you think?!”</p><p>“I often wonder that myself,” Micky agreed.</p><p>Peter shook his head disapprovingly. “Why am I considered the dummy? He was being sarcastic. Clearly, he was thinking about Davy.”</p><p>“I think about the existence of that man too,” Micky still was confused. “I mean how can men be made that short?”</p><p>“Anyway…” Mike explained, “I just needed some time alone to gather my thoughts about all of this. I mean a lot happened in the few days and I didn’t give myself time to sort it out. So I picked a secluded beautiful spot by water and reflected.”</p><p>“And?” Peter encouraged Mike to continue.</p><p>“I realized that I approached everything the wrong way. I think I was still bitter about him walking out on me and thinking that I did nothing wrong. So I came on stronger than I should have which didn’t do me any favors.”</p><p>“I’ll say!” Micky commented.</p><p>“Thanks, Mick,” Mike rolled his eyes. “I began seeing the error of my ways. Davy was justified in all his actions. I’m the one to blame and I have to live with that.”</p><p>“That sounds like a difficult conclusion to come to,” Peter observed.</p><p>“It surely wasn’t easy and I think it is something that I’m going to continue to work on. At least I can actually start moving on from it and not dwell on the past.”</p><p>“Does this mean you aren’t in solitary confinement anymore?” Micky questioned.</p><p>Mike laughed. “Yes, that means I’m done isolating. In fact…” Mike dug around in his pocket, “That reminds me, get yourselves ready to practice. We have an audition in two days.”</p><p>Micky and Peter looked at the flier Mike took out of his pocket and grinned. They both got up and went to the band stand to start setting up. Mike watched them and sighed. He was still hurting inside but it was better to work than sulk. His mind flashed to Davy for a moment and the solemn look that had been on his face when Mike last saw him. He conveniently left out the part about seeing Davy during this conversation. Maybe it was better that way.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Davy rolled over groggily and turned off his alarm. Six o’clock already? It seemed like he had just fallen asleep, which wasn’t saying much since he didn’t fall asleep until three. He lay in bed for a few minutes and contemplated his options. He could go to rehearsal for <em>Oklahoma!</em> Like he was supposed to or he could lie in bed and keep thinking about what had kept him up all night. Hmmm, tempting choices. Both of them were no good to Davy right now. Rehearsal meant that he would actually have to get up and do something which he didn’t have the energy for. On the other hand, there was no way he could keep up this rumination about a certain wool hatted person.</p><p>Davy rolled out of bed and hit the floor hard. “I guess sitting up first would have been a better plan.”</p><p>He contemplated staying on the floor now and decided against it quickly. The floors definitely weren’t comfortable for that. He practically crawled to the bathroom and used the sink as leverage to help him get up. Davy caught his reflection in the mirror. Fantastic, he had huge dark bags under his eyes and days old stubble that he still wasn’t willing to shave off, that sounded like too much effort. He guessed he would be pulling of this grungy look. Maybe it would help keep the girls away because he was not in the mood for girls to be swooning for him anymore.</p><p>Davy had memory flash in his mind at that moment. He envisioned being on the bandstand and Mike making him swear against girls. Maybe it was so Mike could have him all to himself. He smiled a bit at the thought and quickly diverted his attention back to his image in the mirror. This Mike thought train had to stop. He had already been up all night thinking about everything that had transpired between them and he was more confused than ever now.</p><p>Davy gripped the sink. “I vow no more…Mike.”</p><p>It was a fruitless attempt really but he needed to do something. He ran a comb through his hair and trudged into his room to find something to put on, he didn’t care what. He looked at the clock in his room again. 6:30! How could he have done so minimal in all that time? Obviously, his mind was elsewhere and it was having an effect on his routine. He put some clothes on and slammed the front door. He came back two minutes later and grabbed his keys and locked the door. This was going to be a long day.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Mike, it’s like you never put that guitar down!” Peter said in awe.</p><p>Mike smiled down at his prized possession. It felt good to pluck the strings again and feel the weight of the guitar in his hands. Mike was beginning to feel normal again. He would never completely be the same but this was a good start to getting to the new normal.</p><p>“What can I say? Me and this baby are soulmates.”</p><p>“Kinda like me and brilliant ideas,” Micky offered.</p><p>Mike shook his head. “No, nothing like that at all. That’s a dysfunctional relationship.”</p><p>“You’re just jealous of my wisdom.”</p><p>“Yeah that must be it,” Mike rolled his eyes. “Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I think that I need some rest. I just drove all that way and went straight into practicing, I need to relax.”</p><p>Mike set his guitar down gingerly and headed up the stairs. He entered his bedroom and looked around. It was a sad display that brought back difficult memories. The first thing Mike did was open the curtains to let some light in. He changed his sheets and tear stained pillow case. He glanced over at the empty bed across the room. Maybe it was time for a roommate again. He would hate to fall backward just by looking at that empty bed. He was sure that the other two would be happy for a change of scenery…and maybe Peter would enjoy some time away from Micky. Mike lay down and settled in for the most restful sleep that he had had in ages.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Hi, Davy!” came a cheerful voice from behind him.</p><p>Davy was again assessing the damage of his sleepless night in the mirror when he turned his attention to the person behind him. <em>Shit</em>. It was that chick that he had sex with at the last rehearsal. This was not what he needed right now. <em>Think, Jones! What was her name</em>…</p><p>“Nice to see you…Annette,” he offered weakly.</p><p>Her face changed immediately into a look of irritation. “It’s Anna,” she snapped.</p><p>
  <em>Damn. Think quickly!</em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry Anna! It’s just that you look so much like Annette Funicello,” Davy lied.</p><p>Anna’s face lit back up. “Aww that’s so sweet! But there’s no way because she’s so gorgeous.”</p><p>
  <em>Nice save on only three hours of sleep.</em>
</p><p>“Compared to you she’s a dog,” Davy complimented turning back to the mirror in an effort to escape the conversation.</p><p>“I like the new look you’ve got going on. Very devil may care,” Anna continued.</p><p>“Thanks sweetheart, I’m afraid that wasn’t my intention but it’s good to know it’s working in my favor,” Davy used his hands to turn his face from side to side to see all angles of his reflection.</p><p>Anna continued to hang around looking like she wanted to say more but didn’t have the courage. Davy also didn’t want to engage in this interaction any longer. He felt kind of sorry for her really, but he was also in no mood to pretend to be nice today and tried to make an exit.</p><p>“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” he said briskly trying to walk away.</p><p>“Wait,” Anna called out.</p><p>Davy stopped rigidly in his tracks and turned around with a fake smile plastered to his face. “What is it?” he asked through gritted teeth.</p><p>“I was wondering if we could go out some time…You know finish what we started,” she sidled up and whispered.</p><p>“You know, I’d really love to Anne…Ah, Anna, but um I can’t,” Davy stumbled.</p><p>Anna’s face fell. “Why not?”</p><p>“I just have my reasons.”</p><p>“I’d like to hear them.”</p><p>Man, this girl was not taking no for an answer and Davy’s lack of sleep was catching up to him in the form of being annoyed.</p><p>“I’m like a wild stallion baby, I can’t be tamed. You understand, right?”</p><p>“Oh, I understand alright.”</p><p>“See I knew you would,” Davy answered turning to walk away again only to be stopped once more.</p><p>“You’re just a love ‘em and leave ‘em type.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that. I would just say that I enjoy my freedom.”</p><p>“I don’t think my daddy would understand that…”</p><p>“What difference does that make?” Davy was getting more annoyed by the minute.</p><p>“Makes a whole lotta difference to a guy trying to make it big in the theater…when my daddy is the director/producer.”</p><p>Davy stopped dead in his tracks with mouth hanging open.</p><p>“That’s right my daddy has a hold on your future in this business. So what time would you like to pick me up for our date?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mike, Micky, and Peter breathed heavily as they waited for the response. They had just played an audition for a nightclub owner at The Green Room for a five gig stint. The trio had not played in so long that the nerves involved were on another level. The club owner sat at a table looking indifferent. No one knew how to read him or if they should say anything at all. It was as if so much time passed by and it had only been a few moments.</p><p>Mike cleared his throat. “So, Mr. Green, what did you think?”</p><p>Mr. Green shifted in his seat and sat up straighter. “I apologize for not responding right away. I was just wondering where you all have been hiding all this time!”</p><p>All the tension and nerves onstage dissipated at that moment and were replaced by smiles.</p><p>“We were in emotional quarantine,” Micky answered before Mike cast him a dark stare.</p><p>“You were impressed then?” Mike asked.</p><p>“More than impressed! I would say that you’ve got yourself a job!”</p><p>The trio thanked Mr. Green vigorously before packing up to head out the door. Mike was all smiles. Things were feeling next to normal again. Sure there were aspects that would never fully recover but this was a step in the right direction. He closed the driver’s side door of the Monkeemobile and was startled by a loud commotion in the backseat.</p><p>“Wahoo!! It’s great to have the band back together…well enough of the band back together,” Micky celebrated and then corrected himself.</p><p>“That couldn’t have gone any smoother, in my opinion,” Peter commented.</p><p>“I’ll agree with that,” Mike nodded. “It’s good to be back at it again.”</p><p>“And stronger than ever!” Micky continued his ruckus.</p><p>“Since you’re in such a celebratory mood, what would you say to a victory pizza?” Mike offered.</p><p>Micky shouted in agreement as Mike pulled out of the parking lot. He felt invigorated. Everything was going to start falling into place. He would just need to ignore the small hole that was forming in the pit of his stomach.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Davy was the epitome of indifference. He sat slouched over in his seat with his head resting in his hand. His eye contact was everywhere but on his companion. He was taking a particular interest in his fingernails when he was interrupted.</p><p>“Do you?” Anna asked.</p><p>Davy flicked his eyes upward from his nails to his date. “Do I what?”</p><p>“Were you even listening to me?” Anna pouted.</p><p>Davy clenched his teeth and tried to keep his tone of voice steady. “Of course, I <em>was</em> listening and then…I thought I saw someone behind you I knew and was distracted.”</p><p>“How could you have seen someone behind me when you aren’t even looking at me?”</p><p>This is how things had been going for Davy over the past week and a half. Due to his carelessness, he was practically forced into dating Anna. He was afraid that if he didn’t appease her that his stage career would be over when it was barely getting started. Usually Davy could make any situation work in his favor; he was charming and quick thinking. But this situation threw him completely, maybe it was the fear or maybe his mind wasn’t functioning as well as it used to. In any case, here he was stuck dating this girl.</p><p>It wasn’t just that he was stuck though, he was miserable. Anna was a particularly awful person in his opinion. She was boring and stuck up about who her father was and would run to daddy with every little inconvenience. She seemed to believe that the world should stop and cater to her every whim. And her every whim right now was Davy. It was beyond him why she was so hung up on him, especially since he was not his usual charismatic self. So he was a captive to her desires until…he wasn’t sure until what but was hoping that she just lost interest.</p><p>“That doesn’t matter,” Davy said harsher than he meant to. “What were you saying?”</p><p>“I was asking if you realized how much I love you?” her eyes twinkling.</p><p>“You don’t love me at all because we haven’t been together that long and it is impossible to know so soon?”</p><p>Anna giggled. “You’re so funny! Haven’t you ever heard of love at first sight?”</p><p>If anyone knew about that it was Davy. It seemed like his life before was an endless array of love at first sights. Stars in the eyes, professions of love. But he knew better now, those were instances of lust. He never knew what love truly was until he loved the one person that really mattered. And that person was not the one sitting across from him waiting expectantly for an answer.</p><p>“I have…I just don’t believe in that…anymore,” he answered bluntly.</p><p>Anna got a pained look on her face. It was clear that she expected him to have that reaction with her; which didn’t make sense to Davy since he had previously rebuffed her advances. She seemed to try to regain her composure and ignore Davy’s disinterest in the conversation.</p><p>“Well, I definitely do! So how much do you think I love you?”</p><p>She would not let up and Davy was losing patience. He had to keep reminding himself what was at stake. “As much as the weight of a nickel.”</p><p>“More.”</p><p>“A quarter?” Davy said taking a sip of water.</p><p>Anna giggled again. “No silly, way more! I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the sand on the beaches. I love you with a heart as big as the world.”</p><p>Davy started coughing and choking up the water he was drinking. She couldn’t be serious. They barely knew each other and he couldn’t stand her. He didn’t feel as if he was giving her any traits or actions that could make her fall for him. The coughing was at least a good distraction because he didn’t know what to say.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m fine…wrong pipe,” Davy sputtered out.</p><p>“Well…what do you think?” Anna looked at him expectantly.</p><p>Davy was trapped and he didn’t know what to say, so he coughed some more and pointed to the bathrooms. He hightailed himself away from the table and disappeared into the bathroom. He gripped the sink and looked in the mirror. He was looking more put together than he had previously, but that was just a veneer. Inside Davy was crumbling. Crumbling from this sham of a relationship. From the annoyance of having to be something that he wasn’t. Crumbling from missing…No! Now was not the time to bring that up. He needed a moment to compose himself before going back out there and doing the best acting he had ever done to make Anna believe that the feelings were mutual. At least for now…</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mike strummed the last note of the song he had written about his feelings about Davy in New York, <em>Don’t Call On Me</em>. Last time he had played that song the reaction from his intended audience was less than ideal. There was always a bit of sadness associated with playing songs about Davy but Mike knew that he needed to play them in order to move on. Why cast off a perfectly good song because it reminded him of a painful event. It was time to have a different experience with those songs. Still it was going to take time.</p><p>Mike propped his guitar on his knees and rested his chin on the guitar. He was feeling contemplative, but was it a good idea to unpack all those feelings when he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He didn’t have an opportunity to decide though because his thoughts were disrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He straightened himself up and pretended to tune the guitar. It was no use though.</p><p>“I haven’t heard that song before,” Peter commented taking a seat next to Mike.</p><p>“Oh you heard that, huh? It’s newer.”</p><p>Peter nodded. “Sounds oddly specific to a situation I’m familiar with.”</p><p>Mike smiled. Peter could be very perceptive when he wanted to be. “I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t inspiration. Even though he’s gone, there’s still music left to write.”</p><p>“Isn’t that painful?”</p><p>“I see it as more cathartic, you know get it outta my head and onto paper.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t that just remind you of it every time you sang it?”</p><p>“The way I see it, things will get easier over time. Creativity requires emotion.”</p><p>“I guess it does,” Peter agreed. “I just worry about you that’s all.”</p><p>“I appreciate that, Shotgun. I’ll be okay though.”</p><p>Peter got up and clapped Mike on the back before going back upstairs to give Mike his privacy. Mike watched Peter leave and returned to his contemplative state. He could be so confident when explaining things to someone else, but in his head he felt less sure about all the questions and uncertainties. One thing he did know though was that he needed to give himself more credit; he was doing his best to move on.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Anna let out a loud, satisfactory sounding sigh. “That was magical!”</p><p>“What was magical?” Davy asked oblivious to what she was even talking about.</p><p>The evening had continued on much like it had before Anna dropped the L-bomb. Davy had come back from the bathroom and their food had arrived which was a great excuse not to continue that conversation further. Davy hadn’t been hungry after the previous conversation, but made it a point to be particularly interested in staring at his food and stuffing his mouth when Anna started talking in order to give himself time to think. For some reason, she didn’t bring up the love conversation again and for that he was grateful as well as curious. Had she forgotten or did she actually take a hint? If her last comment was any indication, it was the former.</p><p>“This date! It was like a fairytale!”</p><p>Davy was starting to wonder if they had been on the same date. If trying to engage someone in conversation that clearly didn’t want anything to do with you was a fairytale, he would hate to see what a nightmare date looked like. Perhaps she was bordering on delusional.</p><p>“I’m glad you had a good time?” he managed to say but it came out sounding like a question.</p><p>“How could I not have? Did you not feel the magic that was in the air…”</p><p>
  <em>Yep, definitely delusional.</em>
</p><p>“I guess it’s just being with you! When you picked me up I fell in love all over again seeing you standing at the door. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest when you smiled at me. That smile makes me weak in the knees.”</p><p>“I try my best,” Davy said weakly so that he was participating in the conversation while noting that he needed to tone down the smiling even more…if he had even been smiling to begin with.</p><p>“You do more than your best! Every move you make and everything you say is right. Time seems to slow down when I’m around you…”</p><p>“Funny I feel the same way,” Davy whispered in agony.</p><p>“…it’s like I can’t get enough. I guess everything is just getting so much clearer every time I’m with you.”</p><p>“What’s clearer?”</p><p>“That we are meant to be together…”</p><p><em>Oh brother. </em>Davy rolled his eyes behind her back.</p><p>Anna turned around. “…forever.”</p><p>She moved in and kissed Davy. His eyes were wide open in shock. Forever?!? Since when does a short amount of time of being a relationship hostage equal being together forever? He pulled away quickly. He needed to get out of there.</p><p>Anna leaned against her front door and sunk down a bit. “The way you kiss me…” she put her hand on her heart and sighed. “Goodnight, my love.”</p><p>Anna went inside and shut the front door leaving a paralyzed Davy on her front porch. He wanted to leave badly but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. Hopefully she didn’t come back out before he could will himself to leave. There was too much shock overflowing his system. This really was going to be forever if he didn’t do something about it…and fast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mike had been working too hard lately. He knew that not only because Micky had pointed it out every time he saw Mike with a guitar, but also because his fingers were growing callouses on callouses. Mike thought he had been working on moving on by playing the few songs he had written about Davy, when in reality what he was doing was working himself up and then playing other music and keeping busy to avoid doing the actual moving on part. Counterproductive was not in Mike’s vocabulary, but he had seen that behavior in Micky so much that he understood the sentiment enough to notice it in himself.</p><p>He sat out on the back patio and thought about things. What did moving on even look like? It couldn’t be that you didn’t care about the person at all, because that sounded so cruel and final. It also wasn’t forgetting things ever happened because that was impossible. Did it mean that you knew nothing was ever going to be the same and just sucked it up? No that would be harboring feelings and never resolving anything. Could things even be resolved? Could Mike go back to his every day knowing that across the country is the only person he ever loved? Well when he put it that way it did sound dismal.</p><p>He dug down deep. Logically he knew the facts; Davy moved away because Mike hurt him, he made it clear that he didn’t want to pursue anything with Mike again. Why was it so hard to move on when everything was so concrete? Then again just because Davy was sure didn’t mean Mike had to be. He sat and paid attention to his body. Every part of his body felt exhausted from his eyes to his toenails. His mind was constantly racing in order to keep Davy thoughts at bay. There was a gnawing emptiness inside. This was something that Mike couldn’t quite put his finger on.</p><p>“How’s it going?”</p><p>Mike turned over and noticed Peter sitting next to him. “Never better.”</p><p>“Mhmm. If this is better…”</p><p>“Don’t finish that, you know you’ve seen me worse.”</p><p>“True and I could stand to see you <em>actually</em> better.”</p><p>“I’m trying believe me, Shotgun. I just don’t know what to do…actually I don’t even know what I have to do something about. I’m just stuck.”</p><p>Peter nodded. “I saw this in the paper and thought maybe it would help.”</p><p>Peter handed the article to Mike and went back inside. Mike studied the headline <em>Psychiatrist Taps Into Moving On.</em> Mike’s eyes widened. Mike read the article about a psychiatrist studying the stages of the grieving process in regards to death. He sat back dumbfounded. Of course Davy hadn’t died, but the relationship and what they had did. Now he had a name for what he had been experiencing all this time. Grief. He looked through the stages listed.</p><ol>
<li>Denial- Mike guessed that avoiding any and all contact with the outside world was numbing the process of thinking about what had happened. And then when he went to New York he was under the impression that Davy would just take him back and be thrilled to see him.</li>
<li>Anger- That bubble was burst when Mike found out that Davy had used him for sex. He took it out on Davy by yelling at him and putting all the blame on Davy.</li>
<li>Bargaining- That return to Davy’s apartment to apologize must have been some sort of bargaining plea for Mike. He couldn’t say that in his mind he wasn’t hoping for Davy to forgive quickly. He took on all the responsibility of the relationship as a way to regain control of everything. If it was all his fault to ruin then it was his responsibility to make it right.</li>
<li>Depression- This is what Mike was trying to avoid by keeping busy. This was the emptiness and constant exhaustion. Depression looked different for everyone and for him it was stay busy or be quietly contemplative. A bit different than before he saw Davy in New York. It was more manageable and controlled albeit tough.</li>
<li>Acceptance- That’s where Mike wanted to be. Acknowledging the way things are at the moment without approval or passivity. More optimistic about the future.</li>
</ol><p>This was groundbreaking information for him. Now Mike could pinpoint where he was and where to go from there…if only he knew how to ditch depression and reach acceptance.</p><hr/><p>Operation Love Lost was in action. Davy was taking a page out of Micky’s playbook and decided that he needed a brilliant idea to get himself out of this mess. Where was the best place to take Anna to get Davy on her bad side? Remingtons. He had one night stands with a vast majority of the clientele there and the girls weren’t shy about letting him know that he was wanted. One girl had even made Mike jealous without Davy even being prepared for his arrival. This place was sure to sour Anna’s view of Davy.</p><p>Davy was not pulling any punches either. He was going to smoke like a chimney, let his eye wander, and chat up any girl that would come near him all while playing dumb as to why this would bother Anna. The plan was foolproof…except the part about Anna telling her dad about Davy’s behavior. He figured he would cross that bridge when he got there. Maybe convince Anna that it was her idea to break up and he was heartbroken and she may spare him two heartbreaks in one night. The only issue was at the moment was that Anna’s sexual attraction to Davy was voracious and she had no holds barred.</p><p>“Remember the first time we were <em>together</em>?”</p><p>Davy could honestly not remember much of that time because his mind had been so clouded by Mike. “More or less.”</p><p>“I was so scared to talk to you. For whatever reason, I felt like I've wanted you all my life. Maybe it was the fact that you were making all the girls stare.”</p><p>“All the girls were not staring at me,” Davy rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah they were! Looking at those deep brown eyes and those sexy lips,” Anna licked her own lips. “I knew I had to have you; make all the other girls jealous.”</p><p>“Is that all girls want to do is make each other jealous or something?”</p><p>“I mean that’s part of it. It’s always nice to have something that everyone else wants.”</p><p>“Makes me sound like a prize to be won.”</p><p>“Not at all! It’s more than that,” Anna backtracked. “I’m trying to sound conceited but I think you and I were meant to be.”</p><p>“Uh huh, do you want to dance or something?”</p><p>“The way you’ve been moving tonight, it puts me in the mood to dance in the sheets.”</p><p>That was the last thing that Davy needed right now was to lead Anna on more. His attempts at trying to keep her mind occupied with other things that were not sex was failing miserably. Then as if summoned by the Gods, Davy’s casual acquaintance Veronica came up behind Davy, put her hands on his shoulders, and kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Hey Handsome, where have they been hiding you?”</p><p>Davy turned around and returned the favor. “I’ve just been trying to keep myself out of trouble,” he laughed.</p><p>Veronica came and sat at an empty chair at the table. “Hi, I’m Veronica.”</p><p>She extended a hand towards Anna, which wasn’t received at all. Anna was seething at Veronica’s presence and Davy wasn’t about to shoo her away. Veronica didn’t even seem fazed by the unfriendly girl at the table and Davy could tell that she was only interested in another no strings attached session.</p><p>“I’ve missed seeing you here lately. None of the other guys here give off the same charm as you do.”</p><p>“Oh go on, I’m not <em>that</em> charming,” he shared a laugh with Veronica and could practically hear the steam coming from Anna’s ears. “Would you fancy a dance?”</p><p>“Will she mind?” Veronica asked looking over at Anna for some sign of approval.</p><p>Anna didn’t do anything except for continuing her death stare at the duo.</p><p>“You won’t mind will you, Darling? I mean you did just reject my offer.”</p><p>“Not at all!” Anna said through her gritted teeth.</p><p>Davy got up and helped Veronica from her chair. He was about to follow her to the dance floor when Anna grabbed his arm tightly.</p><p>“Where do you think you’re going?”</p><p>“To dance, I thought we were all clear on this.”</p><p>“You’re with me! Why would you be dancing with some other bimbo?”</p><p>“I see nothing wrong with spreading myself around,” Davy took his arm out of her grip. “Plus, you don’t own me.”</p><p>He joined Veronica out of the dance floor. Davy made it a point to not engage in this power struggle with Anna right now. He was going to enjoy himself and deal with her later whether it be more anger or overly apologetic. Once the dance was over, he thanked Veronica and turned back towards his usual table. The table was now empty. Anna left and there was no telling where this could lead.</p><hr/><p>Mike practically chugged his coffee. He was a different kind of exhausted today. He had stayed up extremely late bailing Micky and Peter out of a pyramid scheme. What would even possess those guys to think that a late night umbrella salesmen sounded like a legitimate venture? Mike shook his head and a genuine smile crept to his lips. Smiling had become much more familiar to Mike in the past few days. Each smile actually made him feel good inside.</p><p>He began thinking about how much easier things were to navigate with a partner in crime. Whenever one or two of them got into scrapes, there was always someone else to rely on to help with the responsibility of saving the day. He supposed he was more exhausted this time because there was no partner. Mike had to do all the sleuthing and saving alone. At least the scheme wasn’t that difficult to unravel this time.</p><p>Davy came to his mind in this moment. He remembered there teamwork at the Chinese restaurant thwarting the Dragonman’s master plan. They had a few failed attempts and then made it out unscathed with a pair of rescued Monkees. Davy was his favorite person to work through tough times with and it wasn’t because Mike had been crushing over him, it was because they worked well together. Mike missed him for a moment, in more of a friendly way than a romantic way. He allowed the feelings and let them pass.</p><p>Mike felt something inside him afterward. It was like all the emptiness in his stomach was filling up slightly. It was as if something was plugging up the holes in his stomach and he was able to keep some feelings of wholeness inside. Mike smiled again. It felt calming and good. He was seeing Davy as a friend and beyond the lost love identity. This must have been moving on.</p><hr/><p>Davy had been dreading rehearsal today. He didn’t want to deal with the Anna drama, but surprisingly he didn’t have to. She didn’t show up to the rehearsal and her dad hadn’t acted weird at all towards Davy like his daughter hadn’t confessed all his misgivings. It was the most relieving day Davy had experienced since before Mike’s visit. That was until he rounded the corner to his apartment building and saw Anna waiting outside. He wanted to turn around and walk the other direction, but she spotted him and was waving vigorously. He walked at a snail’s pace getting to her.</p><p>Once he got to her, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him intensely. “Hello, Love.”</p><p>Davy was too shocked to process things. Last time he saw her she had a sour look of her face at Remingtons and now here she was acting like everything was okay.</p><p>“Can I come in or what?”</p><p>Davy nodded grudgingly and unlocked the door. They walked up to his apartment in silence with Anna clinging to his arm like a giddy schoolgirl. He was honestly afraid to be alone with her because clearly she was not only delusional but also deranged. They entered his apartment and she sat down on the couch.</p><p>“I missed you today! I decided to play hooky from rehearsal because I wasn’t in the mood.”</p><p>“Not in the mood? Did it have anything to do with me?”</p><p>“No, I just wanted to sleep in. Why would it have something to do with you?”</p><p>“Because last night you left the club while I was dancing and didn’t seem to be my biggest fan before that,” Davy laid it out matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Oh that! That was nothing just a little lover’s spat!”</p><p>“A lover’s spat? We didn’t argue.”</p><p>“Well no, because I left before I would say anything I would’ve regretted,” Anna explained. “I know how I can get. You were right about women and jealousy, but I realized I already have you and remember that other women want you.”</p><p>“Marvelous,” Davy was deflated at the fact that his plan had the opposite effect. He sat on the other side of the room from her.</p><p>“Anyway, let’s put all that behind us,” she crept over to Davy’s chair and sit on his lap.</p><p>He stiffened up. “Won’t that mean we will still be at odds and therefore everything will explode eventually?”</p><p>“Oh I want things to explode between us alright,” Anna began to unbutton Davy’s shirt and kiss his neck.</p><p>Davy jumped at the contact and made Anna topple to the floor. She looked up at him with shock and disgust. He didn’t make an attempt to help her up. She waited for him to do or say something.</p><p>“Sorry, I pulled a muscle at rehearsal today and the pressure caused me to spasm. I think I’m out of commission for the day.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry Baby! If I would have known I wouldn’t have done that,” she stood up and went behind his chair. “Want me to massage it and make it better?”</p><p>“No!” Davy shouted. “I mean, I’m afraid of it hurting again.”</p><p>“Of course, well I’ll leave you to rest up then. Don’t worry about moving, I’ll let myself out.”</p><p>Anna kissed his cheek and walked out the door. Davy waited until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore and ran and bolted the door closed. He stood with his back against the door for a few moments thinking. Nothing was going to deter this girl. It was time to take drastic measures. Davy went the closet and pulled out a suitcase.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> “I could get used to this consistent work thing!” Micky announced happily.</p><p>It had been their second performance at the club and Mr. Green was continuing to be blown away by their abilities and offered them more gigs.</p><p>“You know what they say ‘that’s showbiz’,” Peter said opening the front door without unlocking it.</p><p>“I don’t even know what you mean by that but I don’t think you’re using it in the right context,” Mike stated. “What I do know is that I’ve told you a thousand times Micky don’t leave the door unlocked!”</p><p>“Relax, Mike what’s the worst that could happen? We don’t have anything worth stealing.”</p><p>“Right,” Mike rolled his eyes, “just the pittance of what we do have.”</p><p>Peter walked in first and turned to Micky. “Tell Mike not to worry that the door was unlocked because Davy’s home.”</p><p>“Mike, don’t worry about the door being unlocked Davy’s home.”</p><p>Mike followed them both in. “Oh well, that’s a different story if…Davy’s home!?!”</p><p>Davy waved from the couch at the three stunned looking Monkees by the front door. Micky’s mouth was practically on the floor, Peter was hopping up and down with excitement, and Mike’s body had gone rigid and his facial expression was unreadable.</p><p>“Hey fellas, I hope you don’t mind but I used my key to let myself in.”</p><p>“See I did lock the door!” Micky responded.</p><p>“How did…What did…Huh?” was all Mike could sputter out at the moment.</p><p>“I think what my tongue tied associate is trying to ask is, what are you doing here?” Peter relayed the message that was on Mike’s mind.</p><p>“Oh you know I’ve missed you guys and I thought I’d come pay a visit,” Davy half-lied.</p><p>“How long are you in town for?” Peter asked.</p><p>Davy cleared his throat. “Oh you know a week, maybe two…maybe indefinitely…”</p><p>Mike dropped his guitar case on the floor with a loud thud startling everyone in the room. “In-in-indefinitely?” he managed to squeak out.</p><p>“Pardon my friend’s baffled response, he looks like he’s seen a ghost,” Micky excused Mike. “It isn’t that was don’t want you back, but what happened to New York life?”</p><p>“It was too overrated for me,” Davy fully lied.</p><p>“We just saw you a month and a half ago and you were all about your new life there,” Peter said skeptically. “What changed?”</p><p>“You know what I’d rather not get into any details tonight, okay?”</p><p>“It was a girl,” Peter and Micky said in unison.</p><p>Davy looked at Mike’s reaction with concern, but Mike hadn’t changed his expression since he walked in the door. “Can we just shelf this for now?”</p><p>“Fine, fine,” Micky held up his hands in surrender. “But you can’t expect to just breeze back into our lives without explanation.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Davy laughed. “It’s good to be back.”</p><p>“Good to have you back, right guys?” Peter encouraged.</p><p>Mike still was motionless in front of the door. He could feel Davy’s eyes burning a hole in him, wanting to know Mike’s opinion about his sudden return. Mike was not in a mental space to answer that just yet.</p><p>Micky put his arm around Davy roughly and pulled him up. “Glad to have you back, roomie. Although, I am going to miss having all that space for experiments. You’ll have to help me clean all the spare parts off the bed.”</p><p>Davy looked back and Mike and Peter concerned as he was pulled into the bedroom he would now be sharing with Micky.</p><p>Peter placed his arm around Mike. “Hey, are you okay?”</p><p>Mike finally shook out of his stupor at the touch. “Huh? Oh yeah…never better.”</p><hr/><p>Mike lay awake in bed that night. He stared at the ceiling in the dark and felt that same nagging empty feeling in his heart. He rolled over to see if maybe there was a little bit of feeling that could be dispersed into his heart. Nope. The emptiness and longing were still there.</p><p>Everything had happened so fast. One day you’re realizing that you need to reach acceptance and then BAM rejection of reality shows up uninvited. All of Mike’s toxic thoughts started to come back. <em>Is he here for me? Does he want me to pursue him? We are meant to be I just know it. I just need to convince him.</em> Mike took a deep breath and shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. It was not the time to be wondering and pining over Davy.</p><p>Was there a time though? Mike wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be able to accept and move on when what he was moving on from was moving back in. He put his pillow over his face, somehow that extra hint of darkness made Mike feel calmer. But he couldn’t help but wonder what was on Davy’s mind…</p><hr/><p>Davy was exhausted mentally and physically. It had been a long trip from New York and he was still reeling a bit from his Anna drama. He did have to say being home felt nice, safe even. It was as if nothing could hurt him there.</p><p>Something did hurt him there though. Davy had been trying to block out those things in his mind and focus on other aspects of being home. He couldn’t deny the fact that Mike was another strong motivator for coming back. Things could be different. People can change. He was getting used to being loved by Mike again and he didn’t want to let go of that so easily.</p><p>Davy’s mind flashed back to the interaction he had with Mike at his apartment. Mike finally understood things. And if he understood things that meant that their relationship would be stronger. He dispelled those thoughts from his mind. He had made such a mess of things in his life. He used Mike and then drove him away; the only person he had every truly been in love with…was still in love with. There was no chance that a relationship was going to magically spring up and be perfect.</p><p>Davy stared up at the ceiling. He remembered every crack and crevice of when he shared that room with Peter. What he remembered most was that right above him was a bed. He was wondering what was on the mind of the bed’s occupant.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Out with it, Davy why are you back?” Micky pressed.</p><p>It had only been two days since Davy’s return and Micky was still rapid firing questions at him. Davy wasn’t ready to deal with the scrutiny of his mistakes. Plus, that part of his life was over now and he wanted to move on. They didn’t need to know all the details.</p><p>“Do I really need to tell you every little thing that happens in my life? Can’t you just be content with the fact that I’ve returned?”</p><p>Micky blinked a few times. “No.”</p><p>Davy pressed his forehead against the table in frustration.</p><p>“I just don’t understand how things could be going so well for you professionally and you would be willing to give all that up to slum it with us.”</p><p>“We don’t slum!” Peter said defensively.</p><p>“I think things maybe too complicated for your tiny brain to comprehend,” Davy’s temper was starting flare.</p><p> Mike took the hint as he usually did. He knew that any more Micky and Davy time was going to result in a feud and there was no way that he was switching roommates.</p><p>“Mick, why don’t you come with me to the music store to pick up some odds and ends?”</p><p>Micky perked up and abandoned his line of questioning. “Can I get a kazoo?”</p><p>“We’ll see what’s in the budget,” Mike said leading Micky out the door.</p><p>Davy watched after them and felt his heart swell. Mike was so thoughtful and taking his feelings into consideration. Sure it was one instance, but it made Davy feel cared for.</p><p>“I’m wondering myself why you came back so suddenly,” Peter broke into Davy’s thoughts.</p><p>“I don’t see why everyone is so suspicious about my intentions.”</p><p>“Well, you weren’t exactly the friendliest person to be around when we visited you.”</p><p>“You can’t blame someone for being shocked at the appearance of their ex.”</p><p>“Precisely my point, you made it perfectly clear that you were moving on and now here you are going backward. I don’t get it.”</p><p>“Maybe there’s nothing to ‘get’.”</p><p>Peter shrugged. “There’s something there, but you’re not ready to talk about it and that’s fine. It will come out eventually though.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to come out.”</p><p>“Uh-huh,” Peter wasn’t convinced, “Just know that Mike has been working really hard to move forward with things. Don’t do anything without thinking it through first.”</p><p>Peter gathered up some items and headed down the back steps towards the beach. Those words stung a bit and Davy felt a tinge of regret wash over him. Davy definitely wasn’t ready to admit defeat. He didn’t want his two worlds to collide right now, both worlds were entirely too messy to face at once. Eventually, he would confess to his undoing in New York, after he navigated this Mike situation. Whatever that situation was now or was going to turn into. The timing was not good.</p><p>There was a knock at the door. Davy strolled over like he had many times before and attempted to look out the peephole to no avail. He opened the door to find an extremely irritated Anna on the other side. Her arms were crossed and if looks could kill Davy would have been long dead. Yep, this definitely was not a good time.</p><p>“We don’t want any,” he made an attempt to close the door and Anna stuck her arm in the way.</p><p>She stepped inside. “I knew I’d find you here!”</p><p>Davy was backing up with Anna in hot pursuit. “Wha-, How did you find me?”</p><p>“I have all your information from being in the show; this was listed as a previous address.”</p><p>“Oh, you know, I’m just visiting my old friends,” he said nervously backing into the wall.</p><p>“For a week? I haven’t heard from you at all. You’re just missing rehearsals and everything without so much as a call.”</p><p>“It was last minute, you know…there was an emergency and I had to get back right away. I know I should have called. I didn’t really plan this.”</p><p>“That’s funny, seems to me like you planned on not coming back! Because when I couldn’t get an answer at your apartment, the landlord told me you broke your lease.”</p><p>“He must have me confused with someone else!”</p><p>“That’s why the apartment was empty? Because he was confused?”</p><p>“Have I told you how radiant you look today?”</p><p>“Save it! You were going to ditch me and move back out here without so much as a goodbye?” she began yelling as she got closer to a cornered Davy.</p><p>“Anna, I can explain…”</p><p><strong>“</strong>What is going on here?”</p><p>Anna and Davy looked towards the front door to find Mike standing in the still open doorway. Mike’s hands were on his hips and he was taking in the scene in front of him.</p><p>“Who are you?” Anna asked.</p><p>“I think a better question is who are you and what are you doing in <em>my</em> house?” Mike responded.</p><p>“I’m Davy’s girlfriend,” Ana crossed her arms and gave Mike attitude.</p><p>“Actually we never discussed labels…” Davy offered meekly.</p><p>“Stop talking! He came out here and abandoned me in New York and I demand to know why!”</p><p>Mike stared at the pair. “You’re his girlfriend? And you came back home without telling her you were leaving?”</p><p>“I thought it’d be easier that way.”</p><p>“Easier!?!”</p><p>“Yes, you see…I’m no good at goodbyes. I didn’t want to hurt you,” Davy stammered.</p><p>“So you decided the better idea was just to disappear,” Anna still was annoyed.</p><p>“I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything with a break up.”</p><p>Mike made his way over to the cornered Davy. “I think what he’s trying to say is he didn’t want to break your heart because…”</p><p>“Because…it’s not you it’s me.”</p><p>Anna rolled her eyes. “That’s the oldest excuse in the book.”</p><p>“No really it is me…”</p><p>“I know ‘wild stallion that can’t be tamed’ blah, blah, blah.”</p><p>“It’s not like that at all you see…”</p><p>“He’s gay,” Mike blurted out.</p><p>“What?” Anna snapped and Davy uttered at the same time.</p><p>“No need to hide things anymore,” Mike put his arm around Davy. “He came back for me.”</p><p>Everyone was silent for a few moments taking in the complexity of the situation at hand. Davy was trying to wrap his head around Anna showing up and now Mike was cozying up to him. Nothing made sense anymore. The worlds and struggles were colliding in a big way.</p><p>Anna chuckled breaking the silence. “Okay, yeah sure. Casanova over there is gay.”</p><p>“It’s true, we’ve been dancing around this for years and have finally committed to being who we are,” Mike explained. “I visited him in New York and professed my love.”</p><p>This was a true statement, but Davy wondered if Mike was being genuine at the moment or just trying to help him.</p><p>“I don’t believe you! You’re just protecting him.”</p><p>Mike stared Anna down for a few moments before turning towards Davy. He placed both hands on the sides of Davy’s face and gently yet passionately kissed him. Davy’s head swam; he almost forgot Anna was standing there. Mike broke the kiss and touched their foreheads together gazing into Davy’s eyes. When everything was over, Davy grabbed the table for support.</p><p>“Satisfied?” Mike asked putting his arm protectively around Davy.</p><p>“Oh my God, I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. I mean, you’re in musicals for heaven’s sakes! And you didn’t seem that into me, now I know why.”</p><p>Davy was surprised that she had even picked up on that.</p><p>“Don’t feel bad, Darlin’. It’s difficult not to fall for this guy.”</p><p>“I’m sorry that I bothered you, Davy. Take care of yourself.” With that Anna walked out and shut the door.</p><p>Davy was shocked and couldn’t process what had just happened. Mike clapped him on the back.</p><p>“You’re lucky that I forgot my wallet and had to come back…and that I left Micky at the store.”</p><p>Davy could just nod in response.</p><p>“Guess now I know why you left New York…kinda. She is really intense.”</p><p>Davy nodded again. “Thanks.”</p><p>“I see you’re a little shook up by this, I don’t blame ya. This will be our secret.”</p><p>“Uh huh.”</p><p>Mike nodded and left Davy alone leaning against the table with his legs threatening to give out.</p><hr/><p>Mike left his bedroom as he did most nights when he couldn’t sleep. He went out to the back deck to think. The day’s events had been hectic to say the least, and he wasn’t even considering the fact that Micky had knocked over all the motorcycles in front of the biker bar next to the music store.</p><p>He had kissed Davy, something that he was trying to avoid. He was trying to avoid close contact of any kind. Davy was in a jam and needed help so Mike went for the only solution that would work. And boy did it ever. That girlfriend of Davy’s fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Something told Mike that Davy had fallen for it too. The look in his eyes after that kiss told the truth.</p><p>Mike didn’t understand Davy. He was so adamant that a relationship wasn’t going to work out and now he was weak in the knees for Mike and moving back home. Mike had to admit that moving on wasn’t easy but he assumed that Davy already had. What changed?</p><p>Mike noticed something different. He didn’t really care what changed. The nagging emptiness and longing to know wasn’t there. It didn’t matter to him what Davy thought about their relationship anymore because the romantic relationship was over. And Mike was okay with that. Something clicked. Acceptance. Mike wasn’t sure how it happened, but that kiss didn’t even faze him earlier. The fact that Davy ditched his girlfriend was appalling (although understandable). Here it was, moved on. Mike took a deep breath. He was finally able to breath clearer than he had in a long time.</p><hr/><p>Davy couldn’t sleep. The events of that afternoon were still playing in his head over and over again. He needed to calm his nerves and think about something else. He walked out onto the back deck and lit a match. The light of the match lit up a figure sitting nearby. Davy quickly took the cigarette out of his mouth.</p><p>“Relax, I already know you’ve been smoking out here,” Mike said.</p><p>“No I haven’t!”</p><p>Mike lifted a fake plant out of a pot revealing discarded cigarette butts.</p><p>“Those are old.”</p><p>Mike stared Davy down.</p><p>“Okay fine, it’s a tough habit to break.”</p><p>“So much for clean sea air,” Mike teased. “Must be having a rough night to need one right now.”</p><p>That was an understatement and possibly not even the correct word. It wasn’t rough because Davy felt good about what happened. It was more that it was confusing to him. What did he really want and what did Mike want? It was all too much.</p><p>Davy avoided answering the comment. “I should’ve known that this time of night you’d be up.”</p><p>“It’s a tough habit to break,” Mike gestured towards the seat next to him which Davy took.</p><p>“What do you do out here?”</p><p>“I just think about things.”</p><p>“What kind of things?”</p><p>“Whatever happens to be on my mind, like what the hell did you do to that girl?”</p><p>“I didn’t do anything to her! She was just obsessive.”</p><p>Mike smiled. “I’m just teasing you.”</p><p>“It must have been the same thing I did to you. You also followed me, you know.”</p><p>“Touché`.” </p><p>“So, if you aren’t thinking about that tonight, then what is on your mind?”</p><p>“Nothing in particular, you know why the stars are so bright…”</p><p>“Bullshit.”</p><p>Mike looked at Davy amused. “Can’t get nothing by you, I suppose.”</p><p>Davy waited for quite some time before asking the burning question. “Are you thinking about me?”</p><p>Mike let out a long whistle. “That’s a loaded question.”</p><p>“Loaded with what?”</p><p>“I’m not quite sure. I’m guessing you have something that you hope I’m thinking about or you wouldn’t be so curious.”</p><p>“Not at all.”</p><p>“Now it’s my turn to call bullshit.”</p><p>“No, really. I don’t know what I’m looking for,” Davy admitted.</p><p>“I’ve been there, that’s a tough spot to be in.”</p><p>“What did you find out?”</p><p>“That I needed to accept things to move on.”</p><p>Davy felt disappointment at the matter-of-fact answer. “Oh…did you?”</p><p>“Move on?”</p><p>Davy nodded.</p><p>“I thought so…I’ll let you know.”</p><p>Mike took one last look out at the vast sky. “I’ll leave you to you habit.”</p><p>Mike walked inside and up the stairs.</p><p>So Mike had moved on? That kiss had meant nothing? Davy was sure that there was emotion attached to that kiss, as if Mike had been waiting all his life for that perfect moment. Was Mike lying though to hold up an appearance? Davy had made it a point to condemn any hope of there being any sort of reconciliation between the couple. And did he even want that? Sure the kiss was amazing, and of course Mike had sounded so much like he understood the error of his ways when he left New York; but did that make up for everything else the jealousy, the accusations, the hurt feelings.</p><p>Davy was getting a headache. He put the cigarette back in the secret pack in his pocket. No need to cloud his lungs when his head was clouded enough.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mick, what are you doing?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You know exactly what I mean!” Mike yelled. “Why are there seagulls all over the back deck?”</p><p>“Well, you see Mike I had a brilliant…”</p><p>“I don’t need all the details! I just want to know what you did and how to make all those birds go away!”</p><p>“There’s nothing to it! Just have to get rid of all the bread crumbs that’s all.”</p><p>“Oh well if that’s all…” Mike said more calmly, “DO IT!!”</p><p>Micky turned around and ran towards the closet and began digging around. Davy came out of their shared bedroom and was looking out the window towards the deck.</p><p>“Hey, did you guys notice…whoa!”</p><p>Micky ran out of the closet with a broom and knocked Davy on the floor. Micky didn’t even stop, he ran out to the deck to begin shooing the birds away before Mike had the opportunity to murder him. Davy was stunned and sat up rubbing his back.</p><p>“Need a hand, Tiny?” Mike stood over Davy hand outstretched.</p><p>Davy took Mike’s hands and allowed Mike to help him off the floor. “Guess I’m a little rusty at dealing with Micky’s antics.”</p><p>As he was finishing that sentence, Micky rushed in again and bumped Davy into Mike. Davy’s hands caught around Mike’s waist to steady himself and Mike clutched Davy’s shoulders.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Mike asked.</p><p>Davy wasn’t so sure. He felt light headed and it wasn’t from being mowed over by Micky twice. His shoulders were tingling from where Mike was touching them. There was an explosion of butterflies in his stomach. Davy felt like his legs were wobbling beneath him and he wasn’t quite sure what to do next.</p><p>“Uh Davy?”</p><p>Davy looked up into Mike’s kind eyes. “Yes?”</p><p>“Could you let go of me now?”</p><p>Davy realized that Mike’s hands were no longer on his shoulders and his body was rigid with being uncomfortable. “Oh yeah, sorry.” Davy let go and backed away feeling equal parts embarrassed and confused.</p><p>Mike straightened out his shirt. “It’s tough to get readjusted to Micky after being away from him for so long.” And Mike walked away.</p><p>Davy could still feel the pressure and warmth of Mike’s hands on his shoulders. Micky wasn’t the only person he was going to have to adjust to being around. It was more obvious now than it had been that night out back, Davy still had feelings. The good definitely outweighed the bad. Was it a good idea though to dive into this head first? Mike had said that he had moved on. Davy’s pride stung right then. How could someone have moved on from him so fast? He felt guilt creep up at that thought, how dare he be so conceited about someone he cared about?... Maybe it was better to lay low and sort things out for himself.</p><hr/><p>“Davy, are you sure you don’t want to come to the show with us tonight?” Peter asked. “It would be a chance to start getting you reintegrated into the act.”</p><p>Davy’s mind was still reeling from the realization he had earlier that day and the best option for him was to avoid as much contact with Mike as possible to see if the feelings were still there. He guessed that was step one anyway. Davy didn’t want to go watch Mike onstage. It always made him melt to watch Mike perform and that was not a risk he was willing to take right now.</p><p>Davy shook his head. “I don’t want to interfere with all the hard work you’ve put into this.”</p><p>“It wouldn’t interfere at all, really,” Mike was packing up his guitar.</p><p>Davy tried to hide the smile that was threatening to form on his lips. “No, you guys go on ahead.”</p><p>“There will be girls there,” Micky raised his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p> “I think I’m staying away from girls for a while,” Davy answered with a shudder at the thought of Anna.</p><p>Micky thought for a moment. “There will be guys there too.”</p><p>“I’m keeping myself out of circulation for a long time.”</p><p>“That’s a travesty to the American people,” Micky feigned shock.</p><p>“The country will survive,” Mike picked up his case and winked at Davy. “If you change your mind, you know where we’ll be.”</p><p>The trio walked out the door, leaving Davy behind with his thoughts. That was a mystifying wink. What did it mean? That Mike understood Davy’s plight at the moment and was helping get Micky off his back? That Mike was acknowledging that it would be hard for the dating world to be without Davy? That Mike was possibly having the same feelings showing up on a daily basis? It was all too much to bear without any concrete answers and all the speculation. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions. It was obvious that Mike had moved on. Perhaps he should do the same. He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. Davy guessed it was on to step two; he needed to desensitize himself to Mike’s charms.</p><hr/><p>Davy was sure he had snuck in and out of the club without being detected. He didn’t want the others to know he was there because then they would include him in the revelry. He wanted to be alone and not drawn into being nearer to Mike. He needed the space and distance. It didn’t help much with the feelings that emerged during the show. Davy’s lust for Mike was still as insatiable as ever, but he assumed that he was taking steps in the right direction.</p><p>Davy knew it wouldn’t be long until the others returned, so he needed to put on the ruse that he had been home the entire time. He turned on the TV and lay on the couch covering himself with a blanket. As soon as he was finished staging the scene the door opened.</p><p>“And then I told the bartender, ‘that’s not my swizzle stick’!” Micky laughed.</p><p>“Shhh, Davy’s asleep,” Peter whispered.</p><p>Davy pretended to stir and sat up and yawned. “Hey, how was the show?”</p><p>“Great, we have another one coming up next week,” Peter answered.</p><p>Davy rubbed his eyes. “I knew you’d be a smash.”</p><p>“Speaking of smash,” Micky said, “since you are out here sleeping that means I can tinker around in the room until I’m tired?”</p><p>“Sure go for it,” Davy replied.</p><p>Micky said nothing else and made a mad dash for the bedroom. Peter also retired up the stairs. Mike lingered around putting away all the equipment from the show.</p><p>“Do you mind me making all this noise?”</p><p>“Oh no, I’m awake now.”</p><p>“I should think so,” Mike said not looking up from what he was doing, “since you hadn’t been asleep.”</p><p>“What?” Davy was shocked at the accurate accusation.</p><p>“I saw you at the show,” Mike made eye contact with Davy.</p><p>Davy diverted his own eye contact and rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh yeah?”</p><p>Mike nodded. “I could pick you out of a crowd easily.”</p><p>Davy felt heat growing in his cheeks. “I was trying to be inconspicuous.”</p><p>“I’m sure you were. But why?”</p><p>Davy wasn’t even sure he quite knew the answer to that one. It made sense in his mind but it also felt not entirely like the truth. Maybe it wasn’t just that he didn’t want to be intertwined in their performing world to get over Mike. He may have also wanted to secretly gawk at his former flame. He decided to ignore the question entirely.</p><p>“That last song Micky sang was new. Did you write it?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah I did,” Mike nodded, “Just last week.”</p><p>“Hmm, makes sense.”</p><p>“What makes sense?”</p><p>“That’s when I came back and it sounded awfully familiar.”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“Come on,” Davy rolled his eyes, “<em>The road is long, the road is rough; I do believe I’ve had enough; I’m gonna turn around and head for home.</em>”</p><p>Mike smiled and shrugged. “What can I do? I’m inspired by you.”</p><p>Davy’s cheeks were definitely getting warmer. He was compelled do something that went against his better judgment. He went over to the bandstand and stood close to Mike. Mike stopped what he was doing and looked at Davy expectantly.</p><p>“How did you know the rest of it though?”</p><p>“The rest of what?”</p><p>Davy grabbed Mike’s notebook of lyrics off the bandstand floor and flipped to the song in question. “<em>And I hope you’re there and you still care…And now some memories from the past, have turned my thoughts around a different way</em>.”</p><p>“I didn’t know that stuff was what was going through your mind.”</p><p>“Then why did you write it? Did you hope it was?”</p><p>Mike looked away and continued milling about the band stand. “I wouldn’t say I hoped that’s what you’re feeling…I just interpreted how I would feel if it was me.”</p><p>“What does that mean exactly?”</p><p>“If I were gone and came back that would be my reasoning, artist interpretation. That didn’t mean it was yours. I thought yours was escaping your lady troubles.”</p><p>“What if it was both? Like that one was the excuse and the other was the actual reason.” Davy walked closer to where Mike had moved causing him to stop what he was doing.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, yes I wanted to get away from my problems in New York, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about you.”</p><p>“It couldn’t be, because I got a completely different impression when I was out there. Like you wanted to erase any and all memories of me.”</p><p>“Things change.”</p><p>“Are you telling me that you missed me…being with me?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“How did things change that quickly?”</p><p>“I think it was that last thing you said to me, do you remember?”</p><p>Mike nodded. “About the car ride?”</p><p>“I remember how I felt. The wind in my hair, the relaxed comfort of my body, the ease of my mind for being with you. We were driving down the road and I wondered if you knew that I was trying so hard not to get hung up on you. Then you almost ran that stop sign because you were looking over at me. Yes, I saw you and then I knew you wanted to be with me too.”</p><p>Davy reached up and touched Mike’s cheek and moved in. “Something clicked with me then that we were meant to be and I tried to fight it for so long. Just like you’re trying to now but I know you feel the same…”</p><p>Mike stood still for a moment before abruptly moving away and stumbling backward. “No, I can’t.”</p><p>“Yes, you can,” Davy tried to move close again. “Just touch me again.”</p><p>“No, I needed to quit acting like you’re my lover and move on. I thought you had done the same.”</p><p>Mike abandoned the mess on the bandstand and ran upstairs into his bedroom. Davy looked at the closed door up the stairs with a feeling of longing. Mike had been clear in that moment; he had moved on. Then why did Davy detect some emotion behind Mike asking about being missed. It sounded like shock and awe; almost like he wanted to be missed. There was still something between them, Davy was sure of it. Now it was time to move on to step three; underhandedness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Mike, can I talk to you?”</p><p>Davy approached Mike apologetically. Mike had been avoiding him like the plague since that night after the show. If Davy was going to try to be underhanded to change Mike’s mind then he was going to have to make him think that that night was a mistake. Mike needed to be off his guard so that Davy could swoop in and remind him why the pair was perfect for each other. He needed Mike to believe that he was moving on too while at the same time causing Mike to fall further in love with him.</p><p>Mike’s shoulders stiffened as he stopped writing in his notebook and then eased with a breath out. “Sure, Tiny. What’s on your mind?”</p><p>Davy walked over slowly, wringing his hands together. “I’m sorry about the other night. I crossed a line that as clearly established.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that it was exactly set in stone like I thought it had been,” Mike admitted. “I made an assumption about your intentions. I acted as if everything was back to normal and in that may have led you to believe otherwise.”</p><p>“You can’t help but read into things when those loving feelings show up,” Davy shifted around uncomfortably.</p><p>“Don’t I know it. I’m sorry if I caused you to hope for something that wasn’t there,” Mike said with genuine concern. “The last thing I want to do is ever hurt you again.”</p><p>“I think you worry too much about me,” Davy tried not to blush. “Anyway, I feel like I understand now…you’re over me.”</p><p>Mike shook his head. “It isn’t that I got over you, like you’re a terrible person to be with. It was that I realized that I had caused you indescribable pain and I knew that I didn’t want to do that ever again. I care about you too much.”</p><p>Mike’s earnest nature was tugging at Davy’s heart strings. Mike sincerely loved and cared for Davy enough to let him go. That was the ultimate sacrifice. Davy almost felt bad about deceiving Mike into being with him again. Almost.</p><p>“That’s very noble of you.”</p><p>“Noble ain’t got nothing to do with it. It’s mostly guilt and regret,” Mike modestly replied. “So moving on from you doesn’t mean I don’t love and care for you. It means that I love and care for you enough that I’m willing to let you chose happiness.”</p><p>Davy was touched. “I’m still calling that noble.”</p><p>Mike shrugged and smiled. “Here.” He passed his notebook over to Davy.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“This is a song I wrote for you to sing. You don’t get to showcase those Broadway chops nearly enough. That range is out of this world.”</p><p>Mike stood and left the room. Again he left Davy questioning and reading too much into everything that just transpired. Mike had written him a song because he loved Davy’s vocal abilities. Davy was nervous and excited to look at the hidden meaning in these lyrics. Was it a love ballad? A sad song about loss? A hopeful, reconciliation tune?</p><p>Davy began reading the lyrics and he was disappointed. The song was about a girl. Meeting the girl of your dreams and asking her if she’d be willing to accept you into her life. And god it was cheesy. <em>If you’re the girl I met in my daydreams, handing out flowers and chocolate ice cream.</em> Mike was losing his touch and maybe his mind. One thing that was certain though was that this was not some secret message to Davy like all the other songs had been. It was a regular song. This mission was going to be more complicated than he thought.</p><hr/><p>Mike walked along the shore, throwing pebbles into the water. He needed to get out all this excess nervous energy out of his system. Davy’s sudden reappearance was one thing to deal with but his declaration of feelings for Mike was a whole other monster entirely.</p><p>Mike had worked his way through that painful grieving process and made such progress. He didn’t want to slide back on old habits only to be rejected again. As much as he had hurt Davy with his distrust and accusations, Davy had hurt Mike too. Davy had used him and tossed him aside like there had never been any love or at least any friendship between them. And after all those hurt feelings now Davy wanted to try again.</p><p>It was too late now, Mike decided. Moving on didn’t mean feelings weren’t still there. The love would always still be there. Davy was his first love. He needed that love to dissipate over time and playing these back and forth games was not going to do it. Davy did seem to understand and respect that Mike did not want to pursue anything further. There were bruises on both their hearts that needed to heal.</p><p>Mike chucked on more big rock into the water. He turned around and began heading back home. It was not helpful fighting your demons when you were avoiding them. Mike trudged up the stairs kicking the sand and rocks with each step. He was met at the top of the steps by a very frantic looking Davy.</p><p>“Mike!”</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“Someone stole Mr. Babbitt’s mailbox and he thinks it was us and has threatened to kick us out!” Davy explained in one breath.</p><p>“Are you sure Micky didn’t take it for a brilliant idea?”</p><p>“I’m positive! Anyway Micky and Peter have already gone out to search for the real culprit,” Davy answered. “I told them I would wait for you.”</p><p>Mike was taken aback at first but quickly reoriented himself to the task at hand. “Where do we start?”</p><p>“Well, Peter and Micky are following tire tracks so I suggest we look for clues around the scene of the crime.”</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p>As they headed out the door, Davy commented, “Look at this team. It will be just like old times.”</p><p>Mike was hoping that was not the case. Old times were fraught with feelings and uncertainty. This time had to be strictly professional…well as professional as you can be searching for your landlord’s mailbox.</p><hr/><p>“Whew, that was a crazy day,” Micky collapsed on the couch.</p><p>“At least you have a place to relax from the day and Babbitt didn’t kick us out,” Mike said.</p><p>“We owe that to team Jonesmith over here,” Peter replied. “Who knew that animal poachers would steal a mailbox?”</p><p>“I just wonder what they were going to do with it and why they needed Mr. Babbitt’s so bad,” Micky wondered.</p><p>“It is a pretty groovy looking mailbox,” Peter offered.</p><p>“All that matters is that Mike and I found it,” Davy announced putting his arm around Mike who surprisingly didn’t move away.</p><p>“Yeah, well I’m beat now and I’m gonna hit the sack. G’night,” Mike left Davy’s grip.</p><p>“I’m with you,” Peter agreed and followed Mike up the stairs.</p><p>Davy watched Mike walk up the stairs and could still feel the lingering pressure of where Mike’s body had been. He had gotten lucky that there was mission so soon that he could be in close proximity to Mike. Davy felt good about how things went; he had played it cool and was not overtly in Mike’s space during their time together. They had made a great team like always and resolved the situation.</p><p>Davy was startled out of his thoughts by Micky putting an arm around him. “I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“I really don’t think you do.”</p><p>“You’re wondering why they are always going upstairs together and why it can’t be you.”</p><p>“Um because they share a room.”</p><p>“I know that you’d rather share a room with someone else.”</p><p>“No, no Micky I don’t want…”</p><p>Micky interrupted. “I know Peter is a good person to share a room with but I think Mike would kill me if we shared.”</p><p>Davy smiled. “I don’t doubt that, Mick. I’m so happy to be back I don’t even care that I have to room with your craziness.”</p><p>Micky was satisfied with that answer and dragged Davy in the direction of their room. Davy was relieved that Micky hadn’t noticed what was going on, but he going to have to be careful because Micky and Peter were more perceptive than anyone gave them credit for. The last thing he needed was for his cover to be blown.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Davy was watching the upstairs bedroom door for what felt like days before he saw the door knob turn. He got himself into place slumped over in his chair, puppy dog sad eyes, moving the food around on his plate with a fork. Perfect. He would be a difficult sight to ignore and to not feel sorry for. The bait was set, he just needed the prey.</p><p>“Hey, what are you doing out here?”</p><p>Davy stifled his urge to smile and kept the pathetic look on his face. “Oh Mike, I didn’t hear you come out here.”</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Well, I thought in the spirit of trying to move on I would have a date tonight. I invited this girl over for a romantic meal out here overlooking the stars and she didn’t show up.”</p><p>“Oh well, maybe she’s just running late,” Mike offered.</p><p>“It’s been two hours.”</p><p>Mike slid his arm around Davy’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, pal. Is there anything I can do?”</p><p>Prey caught. There was no date. Davy had made a romantic candlelit dinner for two and his only hope for a partner was Mike. He created the ruse of being stood up by a girl so Mike would feel sorry for him and join him for a romantic evening. Everything was set in place as long as Mike said yes.</p><p>“Well,” Davy sniffled, “I have all this food and I feel so lonely. Would you…nah you wouldn’t.”</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>“Would you want to eat with me?”</p><p>Mike squeezed Davy’s shoulder. “Sure, man.”</p><p>
  <em>Bingo.</em>
</p><p>Mike took the seat across from Davy and looked at the spread and scenery. “Wow, you went to an awful lot of trouble for this girl. It’s her loss.”</p><p>“Thanks, I just wanted to impress her.”</p><p>“Well, she’s not good enough for this. If I was the intended person for this I would certainly be impressed.”</p><p>Davy smiled deviously. “You always know just what to say.”</p><p>The two began eating in silence. Mike was looking out at the stars and even though he would never comment on it, Davy knew that Mike was captivated by the beauty of it. Mike had kind of an aloof, serious persona but Davy saw through that. Mike’s lyrics were too beautiful not to be thought up by a secret romantic.</p><p>“So how have things been with you?” Mike asked and Davy looked at him pointedly. “Besides this.”</p><p>Davy shrugged. “It’s still a bit tough getting readjusted. I think it would be easier if I wasn’t sharing a room with Micky.”</p><p>
  <em>Or harboring feelings for you.</em>
</p><p>“Sorry I can’t share a room with Micky again. Once, you’ve been Micky-less you never go back,” Mike laughed.</p><p>Davy laughed too. “I can imagine. How have you been doing?”</p><p>“Chugging along like always. This reoccurring gig is making things a hell of a lot easier.”</p><p>“Always nice to get the recognition you deserve.”</p><p>“When do you think that you will be joining us again?”</p><p>Davy was touched. “I didn’t really think you all needed me. You seem to have gotten on pretty well without me.”</p><p>“Getting along as a trio is fine, but we are truly a quartet at heart.”</p><p>“I guess I can rejoin you in the next rehearsal. Although I must warn you, my tambourine and maraca game may be a little rusty.”</p><p>“We’ll start you out slow. Maybe two maracas instead of eight,” Mike winked and looked like he instantly regretted it.</p><p>
  <em>Old habits really did die hard.</em>
</p><p>“I have been practicing that song you gave me. I’ll have to sing it for you some time so you can decide on the melody.”</p><p>“Oh I’d love to hear it! Don’t tell anyone else but your voice is actually my favorite.”</p><p>Davy’s heart skipped a beat. “What? You must be joking!”</p><p>Mike shook his head. “I’m not saying anyone is bad because no one is. But yours has so much depth and range. It gives me goose bumps sometimes.”</p><p>Davy blushed, good thing it was dark out. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I’m only telling the truth.”</p><p>Davy touched Mike’s hand across the table. “Not just for that, for this. Being here with me. It means a lot.”</p><p>Mike patted Davy’s hand with his other one. “Don’t mention it.”</p><hr/><p>Davy had Mike right where he wanted him. Davy was sure that he would have Mike back faster than you could say sabotage. He had to keep making moves that were so normalized that Mike wouldn’t notice something was up, which was going to be difficult because Mike was suspicious by nature. Davy also had too up his game over time. When Mike was possibly getting closer and closer to being in love with Davy.</p><p>Davy knew that Mike was the only one out in the common area. Davy took a shower and purposefully ‘forgot’ to bring clothes so he could walk out with just a towel around his waist to entice Mike.</p><p>Davy exited the bathroom in a cloud of steam still a little damp with his hair slicked back. He was met with the disapproving eyes of Micky. He looked around but Mike was nowhere in sight.</p><p>“I didn’t know we were participating in naked Thursdays. I would be strutting around in birthday suit and letting everything hang loose.”</p><p>Davy rolled his eyes. “Nobody wants to see that.”</p><p>“Why it would break up the sexual tension around here.”</p><p>Davy stopped in his tracks and faced Micky. “There’s not sexual tension in here.”</p><p>“Well, not now there isn’t because it’s me and you,” Micky clarified. “But if Mike was here…”</p><p>“There’s no sexual tension between me and Mike.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. So you didn’t come out of the bathroom like that to get Mike all hot and bothered. Personally, if it was me I’d think that would do it.”</p><p>“I was not trying to do anything. I just forgot my clothes, that’s all.”</p><p>“Sure you did, Babe. But just so you know Mike took Peter to the post office so he won’t be back for some time. I think Peter foiled your plan.”</p><p>Damn. If Micky hadn’t have seen him Davy would have waited for them to come back and re-steamed the bathroom. This was a wasted opportunity and now Micky was on to him. He needed to be more discreet or at least wait until Micky wasn’t home.</p><hr/><p>“How are things going Mike?” Peter asked out of the blue.</p><p>“Fine, Shotgun. Why do you ask?”</p><p>“You practically insisted that you take me to the post office…which is right down the street…which I could have walked to in a minute and been back already.”</p><p>“Oh right, that’s where we were supposed to be going.”</p><p>“Yeah, you have been driving aimlessly for ten minutes. What’s on your mind?”</p><p>Mike sighed. “It’s still tough being around Davy. I know that we aren’t meant to be and that I need to stay away but it’s so hard.”</p><p>“What’s been hard about it?”</p><p>“I think it’s just that he’s around now. Before he was in New York and it was hard but at least I wasn’t seeing his face constantly.”</p><p>“But also you were in a worse place while he was in New York.”</p><p>“I guess that’s the silver lining, being able to stand my ground.”</p><p>“Why would you need to stand your ground?”</p><p>“He still has feelings for me.”</p><p>Peter’s mouth dropped.</p><p>“My sentiments exactly.”</p><p>“But he was so adamant…”</p><p>“Peter, trust me I’ve gone over this in my mind and with him. I told him though that I’ve moved on and he understood that.”</p><p>“Did he though? Davy is one stubborn little guy.”</p><p>“I mean we had a talk and he apologized for trying to kiss me.”</p><p>“He tried to kiss you?!?”</p><p>“You’re missing the point.”</p><p>“Aren’t you missing the point though?”</p><p>“How do you figure? He was your first love, you wanted him back, and now he wants you. Are you really going to throw that away?”</p><p>When Peter said it out loud it made Mike question everything. “No, no, I’m not throwing anything away. I’m protecting both of us. No one gets hurt if there’s nothing going on.”</p><p>“Aren’t some things worth hurting for? I mean isn’t it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?”</p><p>“You’ve been hanging around Mr. Schneider too long,” Mike laughed. “I agree and I did love and lose. I don’t want to go through that again…I don’t want him to go through that again. I think we are just better off this way.”</p><p>Peter sighed. “I guess you know best.”</p><p>Mike was starting to doubt that he did, but what he was sure of was that he was someone that valued determination and he was not about to give that up.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Need some help?”</p><p>Mike had been deep in thought about the conversation he had in the car with Peter. Why did everything have to come crashing down when he was finally making progress? The universe and his bandmates must have all been rooting against him. And speaking of that Davy was the one who interrupted his rumination, not that it was necessarily a bad thing right now.</p><p>Mike shrugged. “If you want to, you can dry after I wash.”</p><p>Davy nodded and rolled up his sleeves and grabbed a dish towel. The pair began working side by side on the dishes in complete silence. The only sound was the clattering of cutlery and the water running. It was obvious that there were words that needed and wanted to be spoken by each of them but for some reason things remained quiet. Mike glanced over at Davy who was meticulously drying the dishes and he couldn’t help but notice that he was also looking at his reflection in spoons. Some things never changed and Mike couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Oh nothing, it’s just that you can’t pass up a shiny object for a chance at gazing at yourself.”</p><p>“Are you making fun of me?” Davy asked feigning offense.</p><p>“No, no I would never, I just think we would get done faster if there were less spoons,” Mike burst out laughing.</p><p>Davy stopped drying and faced Mike. “Apologize for that.”</p><p>“Why should I apologize for speaking the truth?”</p><p>Davy set down his towel and spoon. He reached his hand into the sink and pulled out a handful of soap suds and put them on Mike’s nose and mouth. Davy then went back to his drying like nothing happened. Mike began spit to get the soap away from his mouth. Davy began humming no doubt to drown out the sound of what Mike was doing.</p><p>“Why would you do that?”</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“You know what.”</p><p>“Why Mike, you have soap on your face! You ought to be more careful.”</p><p>“You did this just not 2 seconds ago!”</p><p>“I would never,” Davy smiled.</p><p>“Apologize.”</p><p>“Why should I apologize for doing something that I was justified in?”</p><p>Mike stopped and slowly turned the water off. He picked up the dish soap bottle and popped open the top. “Alright, you asked for it.”</p><p>Davy backed up slowly. “Wait a minute, Mike. Don’t do anything crazy.”</p><p>Davy backed into the spiral staircase. Mike cornered him and they stared each other down. Mike suddenly squeezed the soap and a large glob missed Davy as he ducked and ran away. Mike chased him around the common area squirting soap and making the floor slick. They were dodging and laughing. Time felt like it slowed down and Mike was actually genuinely enjoying himself.</p><p>Davy slid on some discarded soap and landed on the floor. Mike hovered over him and sat on top of him threatening the soap bottle over him. They were both panting from running around and Mike could feel his adrenaline rising. There was also another feeling accompanying it. Butterflies. A look into Davy’s eyes confirmed that he was possibly feeling the exact same thing. What was Mike doing? This was not behavior from someone that had moved on from their ex. He quickly stood up.</p><p>“I think you learned your lesson by falling in that soap,” he cleared his throat. “I should um finish those dishes and then clean up this mess. You don’t need to help me.”</p><p>Davy propped himself up on his elbows. “Oh…I should probably help you Mike. I mean I did start it.”</p><p>“No, no it’s my fault. I used the soap bottle. You can go do whatever.”</p><p>“It’s no trouble really…”</p><p>“I said I don’t need help,” Mike said abruptly.</p><p>“Sure, mate,” Davy said quietly. “I’m just going to change my clothes then.”</p><p>Davy shut his bedroom door and Mike looked around at the mess he created. What the hell was the thinking being flirty with Davy like that? The guy was already obviously still crushing on Mike…Mike had a realization. Of course! It was so completely noticeable how did he not see it before? One thing was for sure though something had to give soon and he didn’t know how long to be before it did.</p><hr/><p>Davy could feel Mike’s walls coming down. It was only a matter of time until he would give in to temptation. Their escapade the day before couldn’t have been more perfect and Davy wasn’t even planning on anything it just happened. Though it was a downer when Mike ended the fun so quickly, but there was going to be a bit of push back and Davy knew that. He needed to pretend like everything was fine and that Mike had nothing to be concerned about. And his opportunity was coming down the stairs at the moment.</p><p>“Hi, Mike.”</p><p>“Oh, um hey Davy.”</p><p>“You’ve got perfect timing. I’ve got your lyrics out here and was rehearsing them and seeing what sounded good. I was wondering if you wanted to tell me your thoughts on the melody.”</p><p>Mike looked uncomfortable standing on the bottom step. “That’s a good idea but I can’t right now.”</p><p>“Why not?” Davy didn’t believe that excuse for a minute.</p><p>“I promised…Millie that I would help her move some things.”</p><p>Davy stared at Mike. “You’re going to help Millie, whose husband is a mover, move things?”</p><p>Mike started for the door. “Well, you see Larry hurt his back and can’t do much.”</p><p>“I’ll come help you then. It will get done a lot quicker and then we can work on this,” Davy called Mike’s bluff.</p><p>“No! You don’t need to do that everything is under control,” Mike disappeared out the door.</p><p>Davy sat down and stared absently at the table. Why did Mike have to fight this so much? It was exhausting and so much work for the inevitable to happen at the end. Davy didn’t understand Mike sometimes. But he supposed that Mike was always uncertain about what he wanted, just like that day…That was it! Davy’s dour mood changed immediately. He had a plan now that was sure to have Mike eating out of the palm of his hand.</p><hr/><p>Mike pressed his back against the door outside. What was he doing? He always seemed to be running scared when it came to Davy. The only time he wasn’t was when he was in New York. What was it about that time that made him so insistent and fearless? Must have been the denial. There was a forceful push from the other side of the door and Mike hid against the wall thinking it was Davy.</p><p>“Mike? What are you?”</p><p>“Shut up Mick! Shut the door.”</p><p>Micky shut the door behind him and Peter. They both stood in front of Mike staring and waiting for an explanation.</p><p>“Don’t look at me like that.”</p><p>“How do you want us to look at you?” Micky asked.</p><p>“Like I’m not a pathetic excuse for a human being that has some explaining to do.”</p><p>“No one called you pathetic, but I am wondering what you’re doing,” Peter answered.</p><p>“Trying to get away from Davy.”</p><p>“Why?” Peter and Micky asked in unison.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about this! This is all I’ve talked about for almost a year and I’m through talking about it.”</p><p>“Okay, so what do you want to do, besides hide against the side of the house?” Peter offered.</p><p>“I just want to exist without this looming over me.”</p><p>“I think you’re the only one who can know how to fix that,” Peter said.</p><p>“I know that, but I don’t know how.”</p><p>“I’m sure it will come to you.” With that Peter and Micky left Mike to his thinking. And since dark clouds were starting to roll in this was going to have to be a shorter session than Mike had anticipated.</p><hr/><p>Davy couldn’t have planned this thing out better if he had control of mother nature. He needed to recreate the moment that he and Mike first made contact and first made some sort of move to establish an intimate connection. The rainy night when they first made love. It was dark inside the Pad. Davy lit a candle by the window and waited eagerly for Mike’s arrival. He didn’t have to wait long before the door opened and a surprisingly dry Mike entered. Okay, maybe the scenario wasn’t going to turn out exactly the same.</p><p>“Did you get all the moving done?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh um no.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>Mike walked over to the band stand and sat on the stool next to the amp Davy was perched on. “You and I both know that’s not what I was doing.”</p><p>“Right,” Davy agreed, “That explains the dry clothes then.”</p><p>They sat in silence staring out the window. The tension was as intense as it had been the last time this happened. Except instead of sexual tension it was emotional. Mike was feeling a bit more fearless now though.</p><p>“So do you want me to reset the circuit breaker or do you?”</p><p>“What do you mean the power is out!”</p><p>“Just at our house?” Mike smiled. “Let’s face it you haven’t been as smooth and subtle about your plan as you think you are.”</p><p>“What plan?” Davy laughed because he was nervous.</p><p>“The plan to get me back. C’mon did you think you were dealing with an amateur here?”</p><p>Davy blushed. “Can’t blame a guy for trying, especially when you’ve been that guy before.”</p><p>“I don’t. I’m not hopping mad like you were. I’m more flattered than anything.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I must really be worth it, huh?”</p><p>“Well, I mean…”</p><p>“All the cards are on the table now, no need to hold back.”</p><p>“Fine, you’re right about that. But you’re wrong about something.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“All the cards aren’t on the table; you haven’t shown your hand.”</p><p>“I need to see the ace that you’ve got hidden up your sleeve first.”</p><p>Davy smiled. “Fair enough,” he sighed. “I love you and I want to be with you. You’ve shown me that you are willing to set your happiness aside for mine and I can tell you’ve grown so much. I don’t want to lose what you were, who you are, and who you’ll become.”</p><p>In the candlelight it was difficult to read the situation. Davy couldn’t see Mike’s face all that well. He was quiet. This was an all-or-nothing moment. Either Mike returned the affection or he didn’t and then it would be Davy’s turn to move on.</p><p>Mike sighed loudly and was shaking his head. “So that’s your hand, huh? That will be a tough one to beat.”</p><p>Davy didn’t know what Mike meant by that so he just waited and listened.</p><p>“I’ve been stubborn and lying to myself. I can’t look at you or be near you without all my feelings coming up again.”</p><p>“Which feelings are those?”</p><p>Mike turned Davy around facing him. He put his hands on top of Davy’s and looked him square in the eye. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. And if you’ll have me again, I promise that nothing will come between us.”</p><p>“There’s no person I’d rather be with. So does this mean…”</p><p>Mike picked Davy up off the amp and pulled him into a long awaited kiss. “Yep, it means that Peter and Micky are going to have to reset the circuit breakers themselves.”<br/><br/></p>
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